around the corner from the invasiv office is dylan prime. it's a steakhouse, with a lot more. i had the nicoise salad. yum. for dessert we shared a warm chocolate, souffle-like cake with vanilla ice cream. delish.

can't wait for dinner....and cocktails.

the first thing i notice when i get onto the subway are the kids on the train going to school. a pair of pre-teens snuggle against a set of doors. an girl, about 10, enters the car with her little sister who is probably 6. a boy with an oversized old navy sweatshirt puts up his hood in preparation to depart.

the first thing i notice when i emerge from the christopher street station is a child walking to school with his dad. then, i see another similar pair. i've arrived just at that time of the morning when parents walk their children to school. it's a beautiful multicultural mix of parents and children.

it energizes me, and i abandon any desire or ambition of taking a nap.

after i lay my things down in hani's apartment on cornelia street, which is quickly becoming my favorite street in the city, i go back out to bleeker to get a coffee. there's a bakery. they have pan au chocolat's, which is my standard pastry in ny.

after several failed attempts to connect to the internet from the apartment, souris called. i took a shower and headed down to washington street, which is where their studio is located. it's a block away from the river. there's a path near the river that i'll run down soon. apparently there's a park that stretches along it, too.

i'm really excited to be in ny. i love it here, and everytime i come back, i feel energized and confident. it makes me feel like i can do anything. i feel like this in sf, too, but ny is different. i think i'll have to live here sometime soon.

a friend sent me this today...and i'm not sure what i think about it yet.

(exerpt from unknown source)

It was shortly after the semester began that we had the conversation.

We were all sophomores at Syracuse University. There were 11 of us that day, hanging in my room together, 5 girls and 6 guys. Fitting 11 people in a dorm room is an accomplishment in and of itself. We were on beds, chairs, the floor. I was on my bed with my best friend, Callie Durban. Believe me, there wasn't anything going on on that bed other than sitting. Like I said, Callie was my best friend—and only my best friend. And that wasn't my choice.

Evidently, a few other people saw what I had seen, because that's how the conversation started. Melanie, who was one of Callie's best friend, saw us talking and said, “So, tell me—why on earth aren't you two going out?”

“Sore subject,” I muttered.

“He'd like that, wouldn't he?” Callie grinned. “We're too good friends to risk it.”

“Why do girls always say that?” Jack, my roommate, muttered.

“Because it's code,” Tim offered. Every head turned to him. “Look, I have a lot of female friends,” Tim said.

“Of course you do,” I grinned. “All gay guys have lots of female friends.”

“Right,” he agreed. “And, since I'm gay and nonthreatening and all, they tell me stuff. Here's one thing hetero guys don't get—who a girl goes out with is all based on sex.”

“Oh no it's not,” Ronnie, another one of the girls there, protested. “I think you have girls confused with guys.”

“No, I don't,” Tim maintained. “We're talking about two different things. Guys go out with girls to get sex, but guys don't decide who to go out with based on sex, because it's not usually a big deal.”

“What do you mean?” Callie asked.

“Keeping me out of this, because I'm gay, we have five girls and five guys in this room. If I asked every guy, based purely on physical attraction, how many of the girls in this room they'd be attracted to, I guarantee they'd all say four or five. If I asked the girls in the room how many guys they'd be physically attracted to, it'd be zero or one.” Surprisingly, nobody argued with this.

“So,” Tim added, “guys use other things other than sex to decide who to ask out. In the case of Mitch and Callie, it's easy, and I've seen it, having known those two for a year. Mitch wants to go out with Callie because he's in love with her. Sex has nothing to do with it, he'd have sex with any of you, but Callie's the one he's emotionally drawn to. And Callie won't go out with him because he doesn't make her panties wet.”

“You're crazy. That's not it at all!” Callie protested.

“Sure it isn't,” Tim went on. “And what's really sad is that girls make that judgment based on almost nothing. I had two friends in high school that had been friends with each other since fifth grade. Same thing, he was gaga over her, and she was saying 'let's just be friends' which means he didn't make her panties wet. Good thing for her he hung in there, because, at the beginning of senior year, she finally deigned to go out on a date with him. And she let him kiss her goodnight. And it was all over—sparks flew, rockets went off, yadda yadda yadda. She didn't think he made her panties wet—but the minute their lips touched, he did. They go to NYU together now and are blissfully happy.”

“You're wrong,” Callie said again.

“So, Mitch does turn you on?” Tim asked. Callie didn't say anything. “I rest my case.”

“Look, some guys are just destined for friendship,” Ronnie added.

“This is why I'm glad I'm gay,” Tim laughed, “I don't have to deal with that bullshit. Ronnie, that's a rationalization. Isn't a lover supposed to be a friend first and foremost?” Nobody knew what to say to that.

so tonight, i had dinner with a college friend, her boyfriend, and her boyfriend's friend and girlfriend. i, again, was the single girl.

i got to the restaurant early and ordered a drink at the bar. i was sitting towards the end of the bar and this guy asked me about my watch. he asked if it was a nixon and where i had gotten it. when i told him had gotten it in san diego, he asked if i was from there, and i told him no. i had been there surfing.

i actually knew his name, cuz his voice sounded familiar and he had left me a voicemail at work to confirm my reservation. i called him back to confirm. when i asked if he was the guy who called, he remembered my name, as well. we were in the middle of our conversation when my friends arrived. damn. he said he would check up on me later.

so, this made me think. was this guy being nice cuz he was clearly the manager or something of the resto or was he interested? i can never decipher the signals that people send. i pretty much have to get clocked over the head to notice. i thought that i had been getting better that this, but maybe not.

i've never *picked up* someone before. i've also not met many, if any people i would have wanted to pick up before. this guy tonight might have been the first. but, i didn't do anything.

as i was leaving the resto, i thought about doing something, but then i didn't realy get the same vibe, so i chickened out.

i actually went through the scenario in my head. if i did something today, then i wouldn't even be able to see him until after i got back from ny, and who knows if he'd even remember who i was at that point. strange ... that i can play through all of that in my head in 5 seconds.

kat's already promised to back there with me sometime ... so maybe next time, although i don't doubt he'd fall for her.

it makes me think that maybe i'm not as socially adept as i thought, or maybe it has something to do with my self-esteem? i dunno. it's just strange, and mildly aggravating ... the prospect of having to interpret people's reactions and sort of play this game. let the guy know you're interested, but not that interested. this is what it means to be single? or maybe this is just what everyone has to do .... communicate and interpret.

****

it's supposed to rain all weekend in ny. i guess i should bring my umbrella. i'm not sure what to do about stormking either. it would suck to drive up there and walk around in the rain. ugh. this is what happened in april as well. this sux.

i haven't packed yet or even started to think about that. i suppose i will do it tonight. i'm not sure how crazy tomorrow is going to be. i've got loads of meetings, but i'd like to be home before 6.

****

i stopped by the sprint store to get my phone checked. apparently the behavior of my phone is due to the fact that i have a lot of data stored on my machine. oh brother. good thing they use the same animation to indicate that a number is being erased. great ui.

****

re: sequals, a friend reminded me about the empire strikes back. yes, i agree. i liked that one.

32 candles

i'm trying to remember if any of sequals were any better than the originals....

glenn barr - i know his stuff, but i had never seen his site. very cool. i particularly like this one. there are so many more .... i have to check it out in detail later.

yumiko has some new stuff, too. i wish i could see the show at cpop. not going to happen, though.

a friend of mine emailed the other day telling me that he had met *the hottest woman who knew his name*. it gave me hope.

the other day, another friend of mine told me that she had walked into a bar and started kissing this guy. she didn't really know him, but recognized him from the grocery store she used to go to. the other girls in the room said that they had never done that.

i simply said that the important part to this was that there is actually a guy who i would find attractive enough to do this to.

it makes me wonder what i find attractive. i've definitely dated guys who look pretty different from one another. i don't know that i have a physical type. they don't all have a particular build, hair color, or ethnicity. i think that i also become more attracted to them as i get to know them. maybe i have an intellectual and emotional type.

tonight, another friend asked me if i find *metrosexual* men attractive. hmm... i know that i've definitely dated a couple of metrosexual men. i'm pretty sure that one of them is gay and just doesn't know it yet. the other one was definitely straight. he just had a lot of knowledge that the average straight guy doesn't usually have. i liked that about him. i found it interesting and we had a lot in common because of it. unfortunately, that didn't work out.

there was a guy i sat next to at a bar while eating with my friend. i found him attractive. however, i could see right through it. it was all fluff, no substance. it took about 2 minutes of conversation.

these guys kind of bother me, actually. they are pretty. that's fine. i mean, what can they do. they can't really control the way they look. however, they can certainly control their behavior and how they live with their looks.

i didn't have any weird dreams last night.

i woke up sort of refreshed, actually. since i was in a decent mood this morning, i called mom on the way to work. she sounded happy that i was happy.

i ran some errands at lunch today with matte. i had to buy cigs for souris and silvio. i had to stop by the bank. we tried a new place (to me) for lunch. rokko. japanese food. it was good. i was in the mood for ice cream, so we stopped by the dairy belle on the way back to work. i had a chocolate dipped softserve twist cone. small. it was yummy. drippy, but yummy.

when we got back to work, there was NO parking to be found. after 15 minutes of looking, we eventually parked at building F, which seems like a world away, although it's just across the street. i was a bit grumpy about this, but oh well. not such a big deal.

after some meetings and filing lots of bugs, i went to the gym. i had a decent run and then did a little bit of other stuff. my shoulders, right around the rotator cuff, still hurt from boxing and surfing. yikes.

the plan after work was to go to best buy to get a replacement phone. of course, after 10 minutes of waiting at the service counter, they tell me that they have a new policy with sprint. now, i'm supposed to go to the sprint store to get a *free* evaluation of my phone in order to determine if it's really broken. geez. so now, i have to figure out a time to go to a sprint store.

i just got home and scarfed down a salad. i have to do some work, and then i'll try to get to bed early so that i can get my oil changed in the morning. all of these little things to take care of before i go to ny.

****

i just remembered something about morrissey. i can't remember who said this, but he's one of the few people who actually doesn't rhyme in his songs.

****

i was telling matte about my potential trips to la. he asked me how much they would all cost and it's actually kind of expensive to do both. i got a call back about the lovell house tours today. $135 for the tour, $175 for a ride to newport beach which includes movies or something and the tour. gotta think about that. i think it may be tax deductible, though.

****

i can tell things are changing at work... very strange.

****

today, i was listening to suzanne talk with someone in her cube. i didn't know who it was, but he had a peculiar voice and way of talking. when i asked todd about it, he told me that his name is ernie and that he is known for his blog, www.littleyellowdifferent.com. i recognized it from kat's blog. when i told her that he was sitting in the cube next to me, she told me to tell him that she was a big fan. i didn't get the chance. maybe tomorrow.

****

i should play the lottery.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Modernism in Altadena
Some of the most significant early homes of the Modern Movement in Altadena, including a Neutra and a Case Study House, will be open for a daylong tour. The six houses were designed by well-known architects Richard Neutra, Buff/Straub & Hensman, Gregory Ain, James De Long, Boyd Georgi and William Duquette.

Date: Sunday, 26 October 2003
Time: 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM
Information: (626) 683-1785
Cost: Advance reservation before October 12: $20.00, $15.00 Student (with ID); $25.00 on the day of the tour.
Reservations: Please mail your check to Altadena Heritage, P.O. Box 218,Altadena, CA 91001
Ticket pick-up: On the day of the tour at the Altadena Community Center, 730 East Altadena Drive, Altadena, 9:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

The tour will highlight some of the best designs of these early architects. Indeed, for anyone interested in architecture and in the influence of Modernism on the social and architectural fabric of the US, particularly in Southern California, the tour will be an eye-opening learning experience. Altadena has some of the finest examples of this revolutionary form of architecture, which, at the time, was very different, very exciting and very fitted to the climate and lifestyle of Southern California. The Modernism Movement profoundly changed our way of thinking about housing in terms of affordability and aesthetics; it produced high quality design for the average individual. Such greats as Richard Neutra, Walter Gropius, Marcel Breuer and Mies van der Rohe immigrated to the US, and managed to influence a whole new generation of American designers. We are pleased to be able to include a real rarity in our group of homes this year; Neutra's only surviving, Robertson Decking's project, the Beard House of 1935! In the 40s with the war behind them, America's fighting men and women returned home eager to rebuild their lives and start families. The need for housing exploded and this new generation of architects, motivated by this bold new vision of the home of the future was there to fill that need. The rest of the homes on our tour this year were built in the 40s with large expanses of glass and concrete, minimal partitions, built-in furniture and rooms that flowed easily into gardens and terraces. The result was a small home that felt wonderfully spacious and open.

SPECIAL BONUS: Neutra's architect son and partner, Dion, will participate in a round table discussion about the tour starting at 4:30 PM at the Altadena Community Center, 730 East Altadena Drive, Altadena.

****

Saturday, November 1, 2003
11:00 am to 6:30 p.m.
MAK Center Tour 2003: The Lovell Houses
The MAK Center is proud to present this rare opportunity to visit two landmark modern houses ­ the Lovell Beach House (1925) by R.M. Schindler and the Lovell Health House (1927-28) by Richard Neutra.

The MAK Center Architecture Tour is an annual fundraiser for the programs of the MAK Center and for the ongoing conservation of the Schindler House. The Lovell Beach House opens for tours at 11:00 am and closes at 3:30 p.m. The Lovell Health House is open for tours from 4:30 ­ 6:30 pm, and features a reception and discussion with Judith Sheine, architect, chair of Cal Poly Pomona architecture school, and author of R.M. Schindler (2001). Ticket prices range from $120-175, advanced purchase is required.

To order tickets, the public may call (323) 651 1510 or email office@makcenter.org.

i nearly fell asleep in my 4pm meeting today. actually, i might have dosed off for a couple of seconds. i don't know why i was so tired. i think i got a lot of sleep last night. however, i know that i woke up around 5am for some reason. strange. i never do that usually.

after my 5pm meeting, i motivated to go to the gym. i knew that it would wake me up and i knew that i only had time for a short work out. both of these facts convinced me to go.

i had a good run. i watch the calorie counter on the treadmill, even though i know it's probably way off. i gotta push myself some how. i stretched then bolted to the shower.

i got to ceramics right around 7.

there's a little courtyard between the parking lot and the art center's buildings. today, as i entered the courtyard, i heard a moby song playing and then a sea of beautiful glass pumpkins and mushrooms. it was surreal. i wish i had a camera. there are huge patches of grass in the courtyard and nearly every square inch was covered with pumpkins. they were delicate, beautiful pieces that looked amazing in the twilight. the soundtrack also had an ethereal quality to it.

as i walked precariously around the artwork, i knew it was going to be a good night.

a couple of my pieces were glazed. the one i had done for robyn and steve came out different from my expectation, but i was pleased nonetheless.

it's hard to see here, but i inscribed the bottom. it says "robyn steve". kind of cheesy, but what are you going to do. it's a wedding gift afterall.

the other piece came out a little more predictably. i had used a combination of green and blue glazes and this second piece shows a little more of the colors than the first.


i trimmed the two pieces i threw the last time. one of them is for my parents. i'll give it to them either for christmas or for their anniversary. the second piece is for my friends matte and ande. they're married, and they are among the coolest young married people i know.

i threw two new pots today. one of them is probably the largest one i have ever done. it'll be exciting to trim it next week. i hope they turn out well. i'll probably give those as gifts, as well.

i'm really glad i went to ceramics tonight. it reminded me of how wonderful it can be, when my mind isn't cluttered with crap.

tomorrow's going to be a day of errands and making up work that i didn't accomplish today. i have a feeling that i won't make it to yoga, but that's ok. i will run or do something instead. although i'd really like to go, i think it's going to be hard to make it to 8.30.

// posted by jee @ 11:34:00 PM

so i have all of the little stuff cluttering my mind. it's not very exciting, but it's bothersome. i have run a few errands before i take off for ny, and i suppose they're not all must haves. i can do some of them after i get back.

i have an hour or so before my last meeting of the day. after that, i'm hoping to get to the gym before ceramics. my arms are still so sore. i'm just going to run. god, i feel like an old woman.

i'm not sure why i'm so distracted today. i haven't felt quite like this in a while. maybe it is the meds. maybe it's all the cheese i ate yesterday, or maybe the 1.5 small meatballs that i had at lunch.

i'm sure i have loads of work to do, too .... i just can't get myself to be very productive today.

story

currently, i have two allergies: (some) cats (and dogs) and (some) dairy products. the first one usually causes watery, itchy eyes. the second one just makes me sniffly.

tonight, i went to ashley's in alameda. she has two cats and she made her italian grandmother's recipe for eggplant parm. jane brought a tiramisu cake for dessert.

by the end of the night, i was sniffly and rubbing my eyes, but it was worth it. great food. great conversation. fun. i think the next time we're going to do afternoon tea at one of the hotels in the city. in spite of the girly connotation, i really like it. it'll be fun to do with zoe when she's old enough.

tomorrow's going to be a long day, i can tell already.

sarah, rebecca, scott, and i went surfing today for a couple of hours. more accurately, i got worked, got to my knees on one wave, and drank a bit of the pacific today. i think i figured out where the balancing point is on my board, though, so it was not a total loss.

the waves were out of control. they just kept rolling in, without much time or space between them. i finally had to get out of the water and walk down south a bit. the ocean floor in the southern part of linda mar is rocky and i was hesitant, considering my last time out there -- somersault and all. i was an underwater acrobat again today, but it wasn't too bad this time.

hillary and jane are coming over shortly so that we can go to girls night dinner at ashley's in alameda. i am exhausted, though, and i almost bailed on it.

i had all of these things on my mind when i got home. i have so many overdue errands that i have to run. laundry is one of them. i decided that it was the most pragmatic in the time allowed. i'm glad i did it, but i'm tired now.

mom called me and i don't know why she's so worried about me. i guess i don't get it cuz i'm not a mom, but it kind of bugs me, lately that she's calling me so much. i shouldn't have picked up the phone, cuz i'm sure she thought my exhaustion was crankiness. maybe it was.

i don't think it's the meds.

****

i think it was last night when i had another weird dream. this time i was getting ready to go surfing. as i took my wetsuit off the hanger, i noticed that it had a bunch of holes in it. i'm not sure what happened to it, and it didn't even seem like the same style as my wetsuit. i was so bummed in my dream, cuz i was going to go surfing and a thrashed wetsuit was not going to work.

i'm not sure why i'm having such high anxiety dreams.

torrance community dancers info